And I ask myself,

why do I want to run?

And I ask myself,

Can I bare this?

Am I strong enough?

Can I just ignore the inminent, the resonant, the obvious?

Why do I seek the first slight chance to spread my tired wings and fly as far as light?


Why do every cell in my body burns when I have to face struggles, lacks, problems, the void you left... u name it...


The inconsistency of every day's portrait...


Why do I keep myself from opening the doors I must open and walking the roads I must walk...

Why?


Cause I'm scared, no other reason, I'm scared that my knees will stumble and my heart will melt between my lungs along with the fear that beats along, I'm afraid my strengths will fail, my eyes won't shine any longer, and my hands will grow sleepy from all the burdens, I’m afraid, and I shake inside, I try to pretend I’m not vulnerable, I’m unreachable, but I’m scared, scared of letting down my true convictions, scared of missing the point over and over again, scared of becoming a selfish cow, a success slave, a cheap copy of love and honesty, I’m scared, scared of selling my doubts out, my smiles for a penny and then act empty, I’m scared of killing every song that tunes me up....'I’m


Yeah I know, its a natural and irrational fear at the same time, its valid, but I know that when I recognize these fears its when I start for once feeling strong, when I understand my windy nature I can step into woods and carnivals and still stay alive, I’m stronger and I can do it, not only I was told by my parents, they showed how in the midst of difficulties, confusion, discouragement and betrayal there is always space though tiny sometimes, there is always strength to fight, there's always a spot for a song and a window for a good joke, there is always a friend, at least one that sees your soul and lifts u up, and there is always the Lord that never abandons and always blows life into your bones.


There is hope, instead of seeing the problems, see the light, instead of seeing what’s missing see what’s there, instead of seeing the past see what’s to come and make every moment of your life count to learn, love and forgive.